# SL1M Trainee at Menara Maybank #part3
Friday, August 11, 2017 / permalink
Helloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Ni cerita part 3. A wrap of all stories written here. hehe. Just click on the link to read SL1M Trainee at Menara Maybank #part1 and SL1M Trainee at Menara Maybank #part2


I finished my training period on 4th August 2017 which is last week. Dah seminggu ye berlalu. IT WAS A HEARTBREAKING MOMENT FOR MEEEEE!!!!!! Losing part of my life there. Dulu dulu before masuk I've told you kan betapa beratnya actually being there. LOL. Just wanna say thank you to semua yang berada susah senang. I owe you!

Okay, untuk part 3. I just wanna share the outcome lah. What I learnt along the way.

Entri kali ini, khas untuk:
- orang yang nak tahu apa yang aku dapat sepanjang menjadi SL1M trainee.
- orang yang baru bekerja
- orang yang takut takut

P/s: "kawan aku" dalam tulisan ini, baca sebagai Hanum.

Bismillah....

1. Avoiding the messy
Kerja kena on schedule weh. And I swear, kerja tu kau bukan satu hari, satu. Satu hari, ada banyak yang hentam masuk sekali. Aku tengok senior senior ni lah. Haha. Mungkin aku ni SL1M, so rasa macam terkawal sikit. Tapi kawan aku pun SL1M, tapi sehari tu macam macam. Tapi betul, bila kau belum habis kerja asal, suddenly ada timpa kerja lain. Work load tu bukan cerita dongeng sampingan. Memang betul pun! Realiti! Ada je yang dah senior tapi still menangis untuk kerja tanpa batasan norma pemikiran manusia biasa. Kawan aku pun pernah menangis t-t. Tapi at the end, dia performed! Haha.

Tapi aku belajar lah. Always bahagikan kerja tu lah. Kau kena tahu mana yang top priority and urgent. Aku ada baca tweet Qayyum (Founder EJ) pasal "Priority and Urgency". So yeah, basically bila kita dah masuk kerja, memang kena apply ni. Kadang kadang taleh pun nak buat fist come first serve basis ni. Ada yang kena complete cepat, kau tinggal kerja kau focus on this thing.

My tips:
- Always make a list on all tasks given supaya tak tercicir. Tulis lah dalam diary ke, note book ke apa ke so that semua kerja ada dalam tempat yang senang nak refer.
- Identify which one is important. Tengok lah mana nak cepat, mana nak lambat, mana yang senang buat, mana takes time to complete. So you can plan your work.
- Make sure hari Ahad tu, kau dah tahu apa kau nak buat pada hari Isnin.

Apa apa pun, pastikan anda siapkan kerja dengan cemerlang gemilang dan terbilang, okay!

2. "Err... takda apa apa" no more!
Ye awak bekerja bukan berseorangan. Awak bekerja dalam satu pasukan. Ecewah. Komunikasi haruslah ada bila you be in a team. Kadang kadang, ada satu issue tapi kau gigih nak resolve sorang pun taleh gak. Kalau ada apa-apa kena share lah. Sometimes bila aku buntu, aku tanya je senior yang ada. Kalau aku tak tanya, depa yang tanya, bila tengok muka stress sangat. My bosses were also nice to me. Kalau macam buntu, bila refer to them, they lend their help. Jujur, kadang-kadang macam takut gak ah nak cerita. Takut nampak tak tahu sangat. Takut nampak bodoh. Takut kena marah. Tapi buang perasaan takut tu. Kena jugak berkomunikasi bila ada apa-apa. Tak boleh diam. Sebab kalau bukan untukn resolve issue pun, kau kena keep them updated. So yeah communication tu penting.

Other than that, yeah bak kata En Wan (boss Marketing), kita bila bekerja ni, kita sebenarnya banyak berkomunikasi dengan orang-orang. Sebab komunikasi kita bukan terhad pada satu department. Kadang-kadang kita refer pada orang-orang yang berada di department lain & region.

Tips berkomunikasi bersama boss:
- Kalau boleh anda datang membawa masalah bersama jalan penyelesaian. Bukan tangan kosong.
- Kalau boleh, bila datang jumpa boss tu, kau be prepared dengan segalanya. Juga bukan dengan otak kosong. Like you have knowledge sikit ke?
- Komunikasi anda harus clear dan direct to the point. Aku pernah gagal berkomunikasi secara telus, dah boss salah faham. Bila salah faham yang teruk, kau kena tanggung tau kesulitan tersebut tau! Parah!

Komunikasi sebenarnya, bukan pasal kerja je. Bila kita lunch ke ada masa senggang pun kita berborak sebenarnya.

3. Microsoft Excel is improved from scale 2 to 8!
Haha. I worked with data and performance and analysis. Of course, Excel kena tip top lah. First before masuk, my Excel skill ingat dah power lah (since masa intern pun banyak pasal data), rupanya duduk Maybank lagi lah mendalam kena belajar pasal Excel. Aku berani cakap Excel skill was zero lah before masuk Maybank. Tapi time to time, Excel skill is already improved. I can do Pivot, vlookup and other simple things. Nak tulis satu satu macam tak ingat.

Pivot is very important lah because bila data kita banyak, kita nak simplify kan the data and take whatever yang penting the. I like Pivot lah it makes your life easier lah. Kau nak tahu ni, just drag je the header column and dang! here you go.  Mula mula I thought the Pivot ada satu jenis je hasil dia, rupa-rupanya boleh keluar banyak. Thanks to Hanum!

Of course vlookup also important because the data yang kau ada probably not enough, not complete or probably you wanna do some checking between two or more data. Yes vlookup helps you a lot! My work mostly melibatkan checking and matching between two data kadang kadang lebih weh. Like data A kurang satu info, kena lah vlookup against data B. Or Data A nak compare the list dgn data C, so kena vlookup against C. So vlookup membantu. Probably kita boleh buat tutorial untuk ni nanti? Hehe.

Belajar ni, tayah takut untuk bertanya. Ye, sebab dulu awal awal dulu mana tahu pasal ni. Time to time, ada orang ajar. Kita belajar daripada orang lain. Kalau tak tahu, kita tanya. Sebab kadang kadang kita bekerja dengan orang senior, depa ni lagi power. Aku and kawan aku (Hanum) ni, jenis kerja nak senang tau. So bila kita ada issue, kita akan resolve sama sama. Kalau ada tak faham kita akan dig why it come out like this and this. Kita banyak try google cara-cara untuk mudahkan kerja kita lah actually. Kalau tak faham, we watched tutorial on Youtube. Sebab bila main dengan data, I swear pening tu tayah cakap weh. Kau boleh kemurungan (bukan exaggerate). Data bukan kuantiti sikit okay. It's a lot. Kau tak pandang satu Excel sheet. Kau pandang 2 atau lebih. Satu Excel sheet kadang kadang ada berpuluh ribu info. So yeah, if tak tahu, tanya and google. Berani okay untuk try and explore sebab kan ada button undo. Jangan lupa, bila dah tahu, ajar orang yang tak tahu.

I can say, ilmu yang aku tahu sekarang still sikit lah. There's a lot to learn sebenarnya. I haven't applied Index lagi, belum lagi nak combine all data, belum lagi fully utizing all the formula. Thus, I believe there still a lot to try and explore. Hopefully, masa-masa akan datang, I can expand my Excel skill! In shaa Allah.

4. Bersuka ria adalah hobi baru saya!
Aku tahu, semua kerja stress. Sebenarnya, ye kita dah terdedah dengan stress sekian lama. Sejak dari belajar or mungkin dari sekolah semua. Tapi apa pun, belajar lah untuk handle stress dengan bijak! Stress boleh memberi kesan kepada emosi dan boleh mendorong kepada kemurungan.

Aku tanak ukur tahap stress kerja aku. Sebab mula-mula kita mungkin terkejut, tapi lama-lama kita rasa kita boleh bawak benda tu. Apa-apa pun, stress membuatkan saya mempunyai hobi baru. Saya amat mementiongkan work-life-balance! Jadi selepas bekerja, saya berhuha!

Ni tips hilangkan stress aku
- Aku keluar sekejap daripada pejabat.
- Aku ada satu habit, bila aku stress, aku nyanyi kuat kuat dalam office. Ye. Aku tak peduli suara aku tak sedap pun, aku tetap akan nyanyi. Bila aku nyanyi tu, kawan aku tahu lah aku stress.
- Aku dengan kawan aku, kita selalu akan berborak and share masalah di tempat kerja.Jadi, bila ada apa-apa, kita akan luahkan. Kadang-kadang meluahkan lebih baik. Jangan disimpan ya.
- Habis kerja, pamper yourself. Treat yourself. Selalunya bila aku and kawan aku stress, kami akan keluar selepas habis waktu pejabat. Kita kena have fun sikit. Kita jalan sana sini.
- Makan. Aku selalu juga makan sambil buat kerja. Makan tu best kan?
- Ya tuhan ku, aku suka tengok nature. Bila aku cuti, aku tengok lah pantai ke bukit ke apa ke.

5. Saya Lina version 2.3!
Saya bersama dengan kakak-kakak dan abang-abang. Mereka jauh lebih tua daripada saya. Ada mak orang. Ada bapa orang. So can you imagined? Yes. Saya bersama dengan mereka-mereka yang sudah melalui pelbagai fasa dalam kehidupan mereka. Mereka orang-orang yang tinggi dengan inspirasi dan pengalaman. Of course, they taught me a lot about life. Their strength and abilities amazed me to the max! They kept me in a positive surrounding. They told me how life works based on their past experience. They passed me their strength.

Masa aku sedih dengan interview PTD, they all weh advice me. Bukan sorang okay! Almost one whole office okay! I'm thankful for that. To me, there's no reason to feel sad. I just need to accept anything and just keep going. I shall believe in Allah's fate. Believe that was not my "time" to earn that.

Sekarang, aku adalah brand new Lina. Haha! Lebih positif dalam kehidupan. Saya mahu menjadi seiring dengan mereka. Mungkin lebih penyabar sikit. Haha yelah bila kita bersama orang yang ramai weh, tak semua perangai pun cun gak. Maki-makian buat aku banyak bersabar daripada maki orang juga. Loool.

..

Hmmmmm, apa lagi?
Dah lah doh. Dah 5 sebab dah aku bagi dah. Kematangan bergerak seiring usia dan pnegalaman ye anak-anak. Apa-apa pun, bagi yang masih tak berani keluar, ye berani kan diri. Takpa try je okay. Bagi yang tahu kelemahan diri, mana yang boleh dibetulkan, ubah dan betulkan. Sebenarnya, banyak je perkara sampingan yang aku belajar sepanjang berada di sini. Thanks to my bosses and one whole Funding&Deposit team yang sentiasa bagi semangat, bagi ilmu, bagi tunjuk ajar, bagi nasihat and belanja makan! Sedihnya!

Sampai sini sahaja tulisan kali ini. Aku titipkan gambar last day sebagai kenang-kenangan.


       


Assalamualaikum

# PTD part 2
Saturday, July 29, 2017 / permalink
Hi! Assalamualaikum.

Aku hutang pasal experience PTD part 2. Okay kalau nak tahu pasal part 1, boleh rujuk di link ini --> PTD part 1. Saya masih ingin berkongsi pengalaman pertama saya melalui PTD stages ni. Okay masa Part 1, kongsian tu terhenti sampai day 1 during PAC. Okay now I would like to share my experience on second day of PAC as well as during Interview stage. In shaa Allah.

- Day 2:

  1. Pengucapan Awam Bahasa Melayu (1jam)
    • Basically, topik sebenarnya dah diagihkan sehari sebelum kau menyampaikan text pengucapan awam kau ni. So sebelum balik rumah tu, kau dah dapat topik untuk buat preparation on the next day. Disebabkan keletihan, aku prepare text aku pada subuh. Lol. Sebenarnya, ramai kawan aku pun buat persiapan pagi tu sebelum ke INTAN sebab semua pun barai. Apa tajuk aku eh? Haha, "Industri Batik di Malaysia". Alhamdulillah. Tajuk yang boleh dikatakan mudah untuk diolah. Kau akan menyampaikan teks ucapan ni di dalam bilik, di mana semua ahli kumpulan kau akan menjadi penonton setia kau (some of them tak pedulikan kehadiran kau malah lebih sibuk mempersiapkan diri depa, unless they already presented their topic). Diiringi juga Panel yang menilai anda. Aku tak tahu penilaian itu berdasarkan apa. Mungkin isi anda, cara anda atau kretiviti anda, i'm not sure about this. Tapi just do as best as you can. Ingat! Sentiasa bagi yang terbaik dalam hidup. Gunakan peluang sebaik baiknya ya? Seperti biasa, 2 Pegawai Psikologi yang sama masih lagi setial bersama kumpulan anda. Mereka memerhatikan gerak geri anda (saja takutkan).
  2. Pengucapan Awam Bahasa Inggeris (1jam)
    • Basically, my explanation on this "Pengucapan Awam Bahasa Inggeris" or in other words Public Speaking is almost the same as per above justification. My topic was regarding on the Use of Own Food Containers for Take Away Food. I was inspired with some motivations given by the panels. They said don't give up if we failed. mereka juga berada di tahap di mana mereka mencuba beberapa kali sebelum berjaya diserapkan menjadi PTD. So yah people, even till now (even I'm demotivated sikit sekarang) tapi I still holding on to their words and advice. I shall keep going. We shall do the same thing too!
  3. Perbincangan Kumpulan Bahasa Melayu (1jam)
    • The best part of this second day is actually when we were having a group discussion between you and your group members. I couldn't remember the topic that has been discussed during this discussion. Rasanya tentang keruntuhan akhlak dan ekonomi. Tapi not sure the specific title.  Personally, I felt like sitting for Muet test. Haha yang ada discussion tu. But I'm sure this is a brainstorming process to come out with some solutions in order to addressed that particular issue. Seperti biasa, ada panel yang bersama ada menilai anda dan solusi anda diakhir pebincangan. Jujur, aku seronok sebab kita dapat lihat berbagai bagai idea dilontarkan oleh para para calon yang menduduki PAC ini ya sahabat sahabat ku. I felt alive weh. Adrenalin rush gettew. Huhu
  4. Perbincangan Kumpulan Bahasa Inggeris (1jam)
    • Same description as per above justification. We had our discussion on a topic given. We come out with final solution of the issue arisen. Exchanging our ideas based on our experience or knowledge.
  5. Kemudian bersurai ye sahabat sekalian. Sebelum bersurai anda diminta untuk menjawab ujian Psikologi secara dalam talian (online). Anda diberi masa selama 24jam (rasanya) untuk melengkapkan PAC anda secara keseluruhan. Anda boleh menjawab ujian ini di telefon pintar anda mahupun di komputer atau komputer riba anda. Pilihan dan masa diberi sangat banyak jadi sila lengkapkannya. Jangan terlupa pula! 

Maka dengan ini, tamat lah sesi PAC selama dua hari. Kita tunggu ya sesi temuduga. P/s: Nak ke kepilkan gambar? hmmmmmmmmmmm.


Okay let's move to my next stage

STEP 4: INTERVIEW
Sesi temuduga aku jatuh pada 26/4/2017. Tarikh keramat untuk menetukan sama ada saya berjaya ke peringkat seterusnya atau tidak. Ecewah saja je nak exaggerate. Lol.  Bertempat di Pusat Temu duga SPA Melaka, aku orang last yang hadir. Aku ikut timing doh tapi rupanya most of them datang sejam lagi awal daripada masa yang ditetapkan doh. dia ikut first come first serve basis, jadi siapa datang dulu, dia akan di temuduga dulu. Salah aku sebab aku tak aware dengan hal hal seperti ini. Aku tentu lah menjadi orang terakhir :p

Okay tbh soalan tu aku rasa bergantung pada orang yang menilai kau. Sebab abang kepada kawan aku, cuma diminta untuk menceritakan pengalaman bermain rugby. Ada calon ditanya tentang polisi polisi kerajaan atau isu isu semasa yang hangat dinyatakan. Ada sesi yang ambil masa 45 minit, ada yang tak sampai 10 minit. Bergantung weh. Sejujurnya, aku terlalu fokus pada polisi polisi kerajaan, dan aku pandang remeh tentang perkara sekecil kuman. Rupanya aku ditanya tentang perkara yang mudah sebenarnya. Jujur, I screwed up my interview. First sekali masa dia cakap aku paling muda pun aku dah cam "alaa cannot ke be the youngest T_T". Lol. I was 23. Apa lah Lina ni!! Emo kan aku ni. Semoga ni menjadi pengajaran lah untuk sesi akan datang.

Apa apa pun semua, be prepared tau. Aku doakan korang semua untuk pengambilan akan datang!

--

Sebulan selepas menhadiri temuduga. Saya menerima email menyatakan tentang dukaticitanya saya gagal ke peringkat seterusnya. Jujur, I was damn sad. Sebab kawan aku ye dia berjaya dan kawan abang aku yang aku ceritakan di atas tu, berjaya juga. Aku pergi kerja next week tu aku diam. Tapi alhamdulillah weh orang Maybank bagi semangat yang tak henti henti. Diorang bagi dorongan. Aku syukur gila. I've accepted my first failure with proud. Yelah kalau diikutkan, ada orang tak dapat peluang pun weh macam aku untuk sampai ke tahap tu. Untuk pujuk hati, kadang kadang kita kena bersyukur weh. Kena tengok orang yang berada di bawah bukan orang yang di atas. Orang yang berjaya tu, kita jadikan ispirasi kita. Ecwah poyo gila lah kau ni Lina. I take this as a wonderful experience.

Jadi semua, perkongsian ini terhenti di sini. Kalau next time, I berjaya untuk ke tahap 10 bulan berada di INTAN, saya akan kongsikan berita gembira itu dengan kalian! In shaa Allah. Ye sebelum saya menutup perkongsian ini, selepas Interview, ada jalani Kursus/Latihan selama 10 bulan dan lepas tu, baru anda dapat surat lantikan sama ada berjaya menjadi PTD atau tak.

Sekian, PTD sharing session. Tamat.

ql.

# Chuck
Friday, July 28, 2017 / permalink

I read my old diary that the day we ruined almost everything we had. We hold on to our memories which we treasured the most. But our love has been peacefully rested on the ground for a long time. We believed that we shall get going. Some part of us, chose to stay so we can emotionally torture each other. To test our limits and patience. To see if we are still right for each other.


When we were happy, I wished to write almost everything about you, so I wouldn't forget all those things that you like. All those memories we created. So I will always have the solid reasons to be with you. Why we choose to stay despite of all unexpected weathers. There were black, blue, red and yellow. I couldn't define the pain as true love or just a total foolishness. There was thunderstorm, raining and even rainbows. But happiness was our last choice. Ask yourself if you were happy or if you were faking the happiness caused I might do both. Ask yourself if the old you, still with you.


# Lyric that speaks #1
Thursday, July 27, 2017 / permalink
Love, I said real love is like feeling no fear
When you're standing in the face of danger
'Cause you just want it so much
A touch from your real love
Is like heaven taking the place of something evil
And lettin' it burn off from the rush, yeah, yeah

Darlin', darlin', darlin'
I fall to pieces when I'm with you, I fall to pieces
My cherries and wine, rosemary and thyme
And all of my peaches are ruined

Love, is it real love?
It's like smiling when the firing squad's against you
And you just stay lined up, yeah

Darlin', darlin', darlin'
I fall to pieces when I'm with you, I fall to pieces
My cherries and wine, rosemary and thyme
And all of my peaches are ruined

My rose garden dreams, set on fire by fiends
And all my black beaches are ruined
My celluloid scenes are torn at the seams
And I fall to pieces
I fall to pieces when I'm with you

'Cause I love you so much, I fall to pieces
My cherries and wine, rosemary and thyme
And all of my peaches are ruined
Are ruined, are ruined

-Cherry, Lana Del Rey

# Chit Chat Raya Keenam
Sunday, July 2, 2017 / permalink
Hello!

Lama tak menulis. I owe you PTD part 2. Please be informed, I failed my PTD interview. Tapi I'll try my best to share my part 2 experience eh. Untuk kebahagiaan kita bersama ecewah.

Dah seminggu 2 hari, kita raya. I'm on my 3rd day of ganti puasa. Ada balance 8 hari lagi. Hahahahah. Iye 11 hari tinggal puasa. LOL. Masa Jumaat lepas, raya ke-6 haritu, I had my iftar with Helmi and Nizar. And we talked about our past. Honestly, I dislike to talk about my past. If some past experiences aren't that good to be remembered, I swear I just wanna forget about it. It means any form of actions that remind me of my past, shall be avoided. LOL.

Aku tunjuk Nizar pasal tweet aku yg "What is the most hurtful thing in love". Then, mula lah start conversation pasal tu and they talked about past relationship. Then they asked me pasal ex etc. I said I counted my past lover as sorang which is yeah (you know who). The rest are just cinta monyet. If cinta monyets are counted, there were 3 (as counted by Nizar). I don't even remember pun aku pernah dengan siapa. Tapi yeap within 8 years I had 3 compared to Nizar & Helmi, they have numerous (boleh lost count okay si Nizar). Helmi admitted his real past lovers were 2. Kira banyak lah kot 3. LOL. Sebab ada kawan perempuan aku never had a boyfriend ke apa. Haaa gettew. Then yes. Their face were semi-shocked. Then I explained, after me and Syawal decided to break up, I stay single for 4 years. Yes. I'm not ashamed to admit that I can't get over him. It took a lot just to completely forget him. 4 tahun untuk kenal diri sendiri. Self-improvised. Etc. Yes I admit, banyak juga perubahan. Tapi I learnt a lot along the way. Even Syawal pun cakap ada perubahan lah pada diri. LOL. Now I found weh my new bae. I hope this will be last longer than before. Aamiin. I will write about him on my next blog. It'll be an endless text. Hihi.

Okay then they asked me "what did you do throughout 4 years". Then I said, I was with my friends. Most of the time I spent was for my family and my close friends. Close friends like my PD friends, Elia & Fida, Melati girls, etc.

Then they asked, "masa kat uni takda ke orang usha ke apa?". Aku terdiam lah sekejap like, yeah right aku ni takda siapa nak pun. Hahahahahha. Idk. Aku geleng kepala je ok. Helmi cakap probably ada but when they saw my bitch face they terus tak jadi. Hahahahahhaha. Yelah kot. Tak tipu lah ada je cakap muka aku sombong, and orang senyum aku tak balas. Sometimes aku tak sedar pun weh aku buat macam tu kat orang. Tetiba orang tegur macam tu. Tapi logik jelah sebab aku tak friendly dengan sesetengah orang. Aku jujur, aku tak banyak cakap, probably aku jenis selesa berada di zon sendiri. I don't feel like expanding my circle of friends etc. Idk. Tapi if aku selesa dengan one or two person, they'll be my friends till the end. I don't bother about anyone else. I do accept anyone nak jadi kawan, tapi takda pun takpa kot because I have these people yang aku dah percaya. Ye. It's hard for me to put on trust to people. So sebab tu kot. Susah kot nak jumpa orang baru or probably dapat kawan baru. It takes a lot of processes for me to be closed with someone. When I trust them, then only we can be closed. Then, tak semestinya bila close, I can open up with you. Hahahahha. Sumpah doh. It's a loooooooooong process doh. Ni mmg naturally macam ni. I didn't create such complex process. Tapi memang macam ni. T_T. I admit sometimes menyusahkan, sometimes I'm okay with it.

Yes they talked about friendliness as well malam tu. Nizar cakap aku bukan kategori friendly. Lol. Malas ah nak justify. Ni berkait dengan statement di perenggan di atas. I get friendly to some of people. Bukan sebab I trust them. Tapi I can feel the chemistry. Entah doh. Kat mana mana pun kita boleh jadi dua orang yang berbeza. Bila aku kat tempat kerja, ada dua jenis diri. Satu yg gila gila or happy go lucky. Satu, yang diam menyendiri and tak cakap dengan orang. Idk. Tengok lah tahap keselesaan kita pada orang sekiling kita kan? I bet you can understand me. Please say yes T_T

Idk people. Masa menulis ni, I realized lah some weaknesses sebenarnya. Idk doh weakness ke strength ke lol. We define this differently. Tapi one thing jelah aku nak cakap, if you cannot change yourself, just be yourself jelah. Tapi in improvised version lah! Probably bila you not friendly during uni ke apa, try lah change slowly. Because, bila aku dah kerja, I'm friendlier a bit lah. A BIT. Memang lah progress tu slow ciput tak nampak, tapi believe me, every day is a learning process doh. I believe that eventually you'll be a better person. If you're comfortable with yourself macam tu, ambil lah as much time as you want nak jadi camtu. When the time comes, and you realized that guna jadi macam tu, you'll willingly to change. You'll willingly to improve yourself. After aku break up dengan Syawal, I changed from a girl yang nak teman teman, to a girl yang quite independent. Sekarang terasa biasa pula untuk settle kan hal sorang sorang, like you drive alone to here and there. At the same time, learn from others jugak weh. You are not living alone doh. When you with your friends ke sedara ke family ke, try learn from them. Anything yang kau suka and you think it's good for you, take it as a part of you. Then suaikan lah dengan diri kau. Selalunya bila kau ada idola sendiri, kau akan try untuk jadi seakan akan orang tu. Tapi paling best, if kau jadi the best version of you. Kalau perangai tak suka tunggu and cuba hormat masa orang lain, I pick my dad as a source of example. Kalau perangai tak tengking orang, like be soft to people, I pick my ibu or my lil bro. Kalau perangai tanak judge orang, mostly from my friends. Haa banyak lah example. You learn from them. Try okay.

Okay lah. Aku cam tak dapat relate pun sebenarnya. Tapi aku nak tulis juga.

Till we meet again on the next topic about PTD part 2, pasal what people have gone through to be a better person.

Goodbe.

# PTD part 1
Sunday, March 12, 2017 / permalink
Hi! Assalamualaikum,

So today I would like to share with you my first PTD journey. Tapi sebelum itu, I would like to share a very happy news. I passed my PTD Assessment Centre (PAC) on last January 2017. Yayyyyy. Kiranya I'm heading to the third stage. Wee.

Okay before we start, let me give a simple introduction on what is PTD. PTD basically stands for Pegawai Tadbir Diplomatik. So ini adalah salah satu jawatan dalam kerajaan. Tentang tugasan PTD ini, it helps to plan and implement the government's policies. So if you interested in government's activities and policies, wanna be apart of our country's future planning, yes you try to apply okay?

STEP 1: APPLY THROUGH SPA PORTAL
Alright. Lets start with the first major basic thing you should do. Of course. You should apply through the SPA Portal: http://www.spa.gov.my/ . Yes, kalau takda akaun tu, daftar lah akaun baru, senang je. As easy as ABC. Isi lah maklumat diri anda semua ok. Pastu mohon jawatan PTD (gred M41). Tunggu lah jika ada panggilan nanti. Biasanya jawatan kekosongan PTD akan di war-warkan di Portal SPA. So just alert. If you are not that alert pun, at least you have friends to tell you ke apa. Ok? I was in Policy studies so of course lah tentang PTD ni macam hahahahhaha impian besar harapan tinggi menggunung lololol. So mmg bila daftar SPA je aku dah siap siap apply for PTD. Kebetulan pada tahun lepas (2016), ada panggilan untuk jawatan kosong PTD. So yah tak lama lepas itu, pada bulan 11 tu ada dapat email tentang Peperiksaan Online Memasuki Perkhidmatan Pegawai Tadbir dan Diplomatik.

STEP 2: ONLINE TEST
Yeap, it's all started with an online test. You will receive the email that you are qualified to sit for the test. On the email, they will provide you the details such as your password (angka giliran) as well as the link lah untuk jawab exam tu. Kemudian, ada lah informasi seperti tarikh, pukul berapa apa semua.

Untuk peperiksaan online ni, dia ada 2 seksyen:
1. Seksyen A: Pengetahuan Am
2. Seksyen B: Daya Penyelesaian Masalah

Hahahahahahah for the Pengetahuan Am ok lah boleh lah sebab I used study Asean apa semua. Basically it's all about your own country, Malaysia ku gemilang (Have you heard about this song? This was the song on 2008). If you well aware of those then you'll be alright. Soalan yang paling aku ingat sekali tentang siapa pemenang paralimpik tu. Hahaha.

Okay untuk Seksyen B eh? I can say it was hard. Ianya tentang matematik dan logik. Ada soalan memang betul betul guna daya pemikiran logik. Like you don't have to calculate ke apa. Tapi just think logically. Tapi most of them is calculation lah. Aku ada 4 soalan aku tertinggal. Tak sempat. Hahahahaha. Time was my enemy. Tepat je masa habis, dia terus hantar jawapan kau ok. Aku nak tembak je tapi tulah tak menyempat jadi, untuk 4 soalan tu selamat tinggal sayangku.

Sebenarnya tentang bentuk bentuk soalan, kau boleh buat research sikit. Google je contoh contoh soalan supaya kau boleh suaikan diri dengan jenis jenis soalan dia. Takda lah terkejut ke apa kan. Sebab kadang-kadang contoh lah macam soalan fikir logik tu, orang boleh pening kepala tau sebab soalan dia agak susah. Tapi bila fikir logik, you just need to think how to solve je sebenarnya.

STEP 3: PAC
Alhamdulillah, 2/12/2016 dapat email yang aku lulus Peperiksaan Online yang telah diadakan pada 23 November 2016. Masa itu, I was at A Famosa Resort, Melaka with Elia and her family. Jujur aku nervous. Hahahahahhahahaha. Nervous lah dapat ke tak pergi next stage. Lepas tu, I was with Elia pulakkan, kalau aku tak lulus sedih lah hati ini. Elia was also passed the online test. Ok enough with that.

Ini dia PAC. Haha. What is PAC? PAC stands for PTD Assessment Centre. Ni macam second stage lah. Before aku pergi PAC, aku baru sebulan lebih mengikuti latihan SL1M di Menara Maybank.
Masa apply cuti tu, hahahaha Head of Department aku was like
"baru kerja dah nak cuti?"
and I said lah "Ni penting, I have to bcs I'm attending PAC"
"What is PAC?"
"PTD Assessment Centre"
and she gave me full support. She asked me to believe in everything. I need to be positive and confident. I'm so blessed to receive such inspiring words. She was indeed so supportive. Well, it feels good when people believes in you. Berita mengenai pergi PAC or PTD suddenly slowly spread around my office? Yeap esoknya sorang manager ni bagi semangat dan motivasi aku perlukan saat itu. Terima kasih ya semua. I really appreciate those efforts (:

Ok back to our topic. PAC eh? Ye PAC. Masa tu 23rd December when I received an email from SPA regarding PAC. As usual, the details of PAC were included on the email, such as the venue, the date and etc. Aku dapat di Intan Wilayah Selatan, Kluang, Johor pada 11/1/2017-12/2/2017. PAC ni lama lah sebenarnya weh, I mean the last date betul betul habis semua sesi PAC satu Malaysia ni was 26/1/2017 if I'm not mistaken. So nak tunggu tu keputusan kau layak ke tak tu memang ambil masa. Ye, PAC 2 hari tapi yang menentukan kau pergi dua hari ke sekarat hari ke adalah Ujian Kecergasan Jasmani Kebangsaan (UKJK). Diingatkan bahawa hanya calon BERJAYA melepasi peringkat penilaian saringan kesihatan dan UKJK sahaja yang akan meneruskan aktiviti penilaian PAC (Copied what was written on the email). Kiranya, if you pass the UKJK  and Ujian Saringan Kesihatan, then only you are qualified to sit for the whole PAC.

- Day 1: UKJK

UKJK consists of simple physical test:
  • BMI: Tinggi, berat, BMI.
  • Ujian genggaman tangan (hahahahhahahah ni ada lah alat genggaman tangan dia untuk tengok kekuatan genggaman tangan kau)
  • Ujian bangun tubi eh bukan tekan tubi. (Ni first test aku hahahahahha patah pinggang belakang)
  • Ujian duduk dan jangkau (I failed this)
  • Ujian larian ulang alik 20 meter (Bleep test): Basically bleep test ni paling intense kot.
Penting lah sebenarnya untuk kau exercise sebelum pergi PAC. Try buat slow slow semua ni. Persediaan itu amat penting ya tuan tuan puan puan. Maka sebelum pergi, wajar lah utnuk awak google contoh contoh ujian ini dan cuba buat di rumah. For the Bleep Test, Kak En bagi tips untuk download apps bleep test dia telefon pintar anda dan gunakan lah sebaiknya. It wasn't that easy. Masa tahu lulus untuk pergi PAC, all I did was naik bukit je masa senggang. Sekadar nak dapat balik kekuatan. Masa buat latihan bleep test tu, memang half dead. Hahahahahh. Gila kau, lama kot tak exercise. Aku pulak bukan dilahirkan untuk short distance running. LOL. Lepas tu, masa buat tu, memang banyak lah sangkut. Kak En cakap at least round 3 dah okay. Masalahnya masa latihan tu aku cecah like 2.9 je. Aku memang low in self motivation. Kesian betul lah. Aku cuak ah if PAC as hard as my training kan. Im gonna be dead.

Masa hadirkan diri untuk PAC, aku ada sorang kawan ni. Her name is Elaine. She's from Melaka and she's currently completing her master at USM. Kita sama sama cuak okay nak buat bleep test. Hahahahah. Tapi alhamdulillah we passed. I was so proud of her. Sebab dia dapat buat bleep test dengan jayanya. She reached almost level 4 and I got 4.5 masa tu jadi aku buat kesimpulan bleep test tu not as hard as my training. If you are unsure with the structure of bleep test, you can google or watch the videos on youtube (;

Okay lepas UKJK, kita kena rehat jap dalam pukul 12pm-2pm sambil tunggu keputusan. Yes keputusan UKJK keluar pada hari itu jugak. Nama nama yang tak sebut, berjaya melangkah ke ujian seterusnya. Alhamdulillah me and Elain we both passed our UKJK and we were ready to sit for written test.

- Day 1: Ujian Penulisan

Ujian Penulisan ada dua seksyen juga:
1. Seksyen C - Esei Bahasa Melayu. Masa tu tajuk tu aku lupa. I think it was about environment.
2. Seksyen D - English Language Essay (It was regarding Uber and Grab)

Jawab dalam masa 30 minit. Haaaa memang nak tercabut lah jari jemari ni. Hahaha.

Selepas itu, ada group activity. Dia dah pecahkan anda kepada beberapa kumpulan. Then, dia arahkan untuk bina satu objek yang kukuh mengunakan beberapa barang yang disediakan mengikut spesfikasi yang dimahukan. I'm not sure if lain lain INTAN, lain lain aktiviti berkumpulan. I forgot to ask my friend on this. Sebab member aku jalan PAC kat INTAN Perak. Aku ingat spaghetti, tape and tanah liat je weh. Masa ni, dah ada Pegawai Psikologi yang memerhatikan gerak geri anda. Dan Pegawai yang sama ni berada pada keesokkan harinya. Satu kumpulan ada 2 Pegawai Psikologi. Dia tengok je perangai kau (hahaha tipu je :p)

OMG! It's already 10:16pm. Nak pack sebab esok kerja. I wish I can finish this. See you next time okay for my Day 2 PAC. 

Much love,
ql.

click on the link to continue with another PTD episode --> PTD Part 2






# 5 Days Letter
Friday, February 17, 2017 / permalink
If and only if you read this. I want you to know that I see greatest things on you. Well, I'm actually quite remember those memories you left for me.

I hope a little throwback won't hurt. I still remember those days when you looked back several times when we were in form 2. Haha. I still remember when my friend, Arwah Nazirah wrote me your number on a small paper and she said "good luck, chuck!". That was happened when I told her someone sent me a text which I clearly not recognized the number.

I still remember when you read Sakit Purut instead of Sakit Perut. Hahahahahha. I wasn't that good in creativity etc.

I still kept those sketches. Yeap kau lukis this one particular lady when we were in form 3. Cantik gila please! I was amazed! Since then, I adore all your artworks. Even sampai sekarang (:

I still remember when you gave me a bar of chocolate on my 15th birthday and i still kept the wrapping paper. Since then, we agreed nak tukar tukar hadiah bila birthday memasing. Kan? Betul tak? Tbh, aku sangat sangat rasa birthday kau penting sebab kau selalu buat birthday aku tu penting. Yeap you know why? Because kau akan try to wish me as early as 12am. Masa tu, memang tak sabar nak sampai birthday. Back then, I knew some good people. OMG on my 16th birthday was the best! I still remember when you cycled to my house on Deepavali! Siap baling mercun?! I wasn't that excited for my birthday time tu. Because semua pun wish Happy Deepavali. LOL. And swear the mercun was actually annoying. Because I was still sleeping. But, you woke me up with a very huge birthday present. Even I'm not a fan of teddy, I still kept those card and bear. I loved em much. I won't allow any bears in my room, but yours was an exception.

Those days when you tried to hit me, I thought you were just goofing around me. I thought it was not serious. And back then, I was so in love with this guy. He was the love of my life. Haha. My love was this man was too strong. So I just can't accept you.

I still remember when I was not feeling well in Kedah and you suddenly came with a short but meaningful text. Yet you didn't even know I was having a fever. Awhh, masa tu terharu, sebab ada orang ingat kita. A random text can simply left a big impact. I cannot remember the content but I was touched by such text. How can I forgot the unexpected gesture?

Habis asasi, I was in Shah Alam. That was when my heart started to torn apart. My degree life was not good. That was when I met some frustrating people. That was the time I tried to live my own life. Tried to be independent. Tried to settle everything alone. So, I only remembered I gave you a small gift on your 19th birthday and my Melati girls were the witness of my excitement. Then, on my 20th birthday you came with balloons. It was on 2014. I was stupid for not trusting you. Yelah you kept telling them "I'm your best friend and I will listen you", ended up I listened to Nizar. I'm so sorry for that. I'm so sorry because I said you failed. I realized I was too brutal with words. Aku tak jaga pun perasaan kau. Whether kau terasa ke apa. Tapi I'm so sorry for that. But I still remember that I chose you since that day. Not because of balloons tapi sebab you've been there for too long.

On 2014, that was when you tried too hard. I was the dumbest. Yelah we did talk about "false hope". Kalau kau boleh ingat masa kita jalan pantai dan aku cerita pasal how stupid were they, using other people's name and made me feel excited. I was so stupid back then. Stupid for hoping too much on a person. Yet you were there for me. But then, again I was so stupid for asking you to wait. For 2 damn years. Tapi seriously I'm so sorry. Sebenarnya masa tu, I wasn't moved on.

I still remember the day when I was so confused and life was so freaking complicated. I said I wanna go to the beach and I left my phone. Then, you were actually came and looked me far from behind. I was actually tried to calm myself. Tried to think as much as I can. Tried to make the best decisions for my future. Your unconscious presence was the reason that made me feel it was right. Again, you were there for me.

The thing I love the most was our unexpected cereal picnic. I thought you were coming for a random visit. Tapi rupanya with boxes of cereal man!! Dengan susu sekali beb! What a complete combo! I still remember I was busy in preparing my slide presentation for the next day, but still lah weh, kau teman aku buat slide kot. It was a great experience having a night cereal picnic. Simple but sweet. Oh! I still kept the videos.

You and your arts are like a strong bond. You always good in arts and also good in utilizing your skill and talent through arts. When you wanna wish someone's birthday, you gonna draw something. When you wanna say good luck, you gonna draw something. When you bored you gonna draw something. Honestly, I am your number 1 fan! #1. Haha. The outcomes never fail to make me feel happy. How can a person born with such an amazing skill? You're so impressive!

2 years already passed. Tapi look what we've been through. I'm wondering how can a person has a lot of patience. How can a person been through a lot but still choose to stay together? I've nothing to ask except for wishing you a great life ahead. I just want you to have a better ending in your life. I just want you to be happy whether it's with or without me. I will do anything as much as I can, just to make you happy. But sometimes I admit some of my actions are wrong. Haha. Aku harap kau berjaya dunia akhirat weh. Whatever mistakes you did, it's between you and Allah which I don't want to interfere. Tapi ada something you need to know. Everything has limits and sometimes life is not only to have fun. Another one thing is, you shouldn't be proud of any mistakes you did. Sometimes you just gotta keep it to yourself tho. Time to time, I just wanna see better you. Because that's what you are. With all those kindness and good things you did, you are meant to be a very great person.

Those days when you love a cat. When you sedekah to those people. When you told me about the excitement of performing your first night of tarawih. When you try to finish reading quran. When you helped me. When you be there for your friends. When you put on effort to understand people. When you not judge people. Your kindness. I know, you try to show me your darkest side. It was bad. Sometimes it makes me afraid of you, tapi sometimes I realized, just like me, you're also a human. You're imperfect. But then, I see you. I see both of you. That's why I would say I see the greatest in you.

I just wanna say sorry babe. For asking you to wait. Even throughout the years we argued a lot, but still, I can say you made it. Sorry if sometimes I'm ignoring you. I know I take too much time to accept. Asking for too much time to understand. Taking too much time for myself. Sometimes I'm just confused. I know I'm too slow in figuring out several things. Trust issues. LOL. But sometimes I feel grateful that I don't rush over things. Because it makes me realized several things. Like how to be more understanding. I realized I've been too selfish for most of the time. Other than losing interest, I guess me myself is one of the reasons you changed. I'm sorry for that. Really sorry ):

Hence, you always know this right?, as strong as the thunderstorm, I LOVE YOU LOTS!